But what about love?” you may ask. That terribly exciting disease that, to me, feels like another full-time job. Isn’t love just trying to get back what your parents didn’t give you before you were three years old? One thing I learned in therapy is you’ll never get this back, so move on, for God’s sake. Make friends with your neuroses. I know that true love is supposed to be companionship, growing old together, blah blah blah. I thought that’s what friends were for, not sexual partners! Some of us want hot lunatic porn sex and we want it forever!
Everybody has his or her “love map” as the late, great, sadly discredited Baltimore sexologist Dr. John Money once called our predetermined sexual types. And we can never really change our love maps, but we can learn to see them coming. A healthy neurotic known his type can, and probably will, bring emotional trouble combined with a powerful sexual wallop. But we can see, though effective therapy, that we have a choice. Yes, our love maps may be bad for us but WOW! I won’t find this kind of sex in a healthy relationship. So is it worth it? If it is, yes, you are fucked-up, but as long as you choose it, you are also neurotically happy.